Healthy boundaries

Boundaries are lines we draw between what is and is not okay with us.

Boundaries are limits and rules we set for ourselves to identify what we feel is reasonable, safe, and okay with other people. When you set boundaries in your relationships based on your feelings, beliefs, and experiences they can help keep you safe and your relationships healthy.

Healthy boundaries come from knowing what’s important to you and speaking up when something does not feel okay to you. Boundaries can make our relationships stronger, allow us to appropriately prioritize ourselves, boost self-esteem, and protect us from situations that make us feel unsafe.

Examples of healthy boundaries:

• Asking permission/Getting consent
• Taking others' feelings into account
• Being honest
• Being able to say no and accepting when the other person says no
• Giving people space when needed or asked for
• Showing respect for differences in opinion, perspective, and feeling
• Taking responsibility for actions (aka accountability)

Communicating your boundaries

In order to set boundaries, they need to be communicated to other people. Check out the Healthy Communication section for some tips on how to have this conversation. By setting boundaries together, both people can have a shared understanding (be on the same page) of what will make the relationship thrive.

FAST FACT

No one’s boundaries are more right or wrong than anyone else’s! Everyone has different comfort zones. We need to respect others’ boundaries even if they are different from our own!

Types of Boundaries

There are four common types of boundaries that you may want to set within relationships:

Physical Boundaries

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Physical Boundaries relate to your body, privacy, and personal space. These are your personal limits about when are how you are touched as well as who can touch you.

Emotional Boundaries

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Emotional Boundaries relate to protecting your emotional well-being, including what is and what is not your responsibility to deal with. You decide when you want to share your feelings and when you're able to listen and receive the emotional needs of others.

Sexual Boundaries

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Sexual Boundaries relate to physical intimacy and what is and is not okay within your sexuality, like how and when you want to be kissed or what what other types of intimate contact is ok with you.