Sexual and gender identity

Our sexual selves can be a big part of who we are.

Our sexual identity is made up of, in part, our sexual orientation and our gender identity. Below are some definitions describing aspects that make up our sexual identity.

Sexual Orientation

Sexual orientation refers to who you’re romantically, emotionally, and/or sexually attracted to. Feelings of attraction are independent from one another, so you can be romantically or emotionally attracted to someone or a group of people who you are not sexually attracted to, and vice versa. It is also possible for you to not experience any of these attractions (sometimes referred to as “asexuality”).

Some people use labels to describe their sexual orientation, such as lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, pansexual, asexual, straight, among others.

Sex Assigned at Birth

Sex assigned at birth is determined by the presence or absence of a common set of organs and functions that make up their reproductive system. Bodies assigned female at birth tend to have internal genitalia such as the vulva and ovaries, while bodies assigned male at birth tend to have external genitalia such as the penis and testicles.

While these two systems are most common, not everyone identifies with them. Those with genitalia that does not comfortably fit within these two systems often identify as intersex.

Gender Identity

Gender identity is a person’s internal sense of their gender -such as man, woman, neither of these, or another gender. A person’s gender identity may be the same as their sex assigned at birth (known as “cisgender”) or a gender different than their sex assigned at birth (known as “transgender”). Gender identity is also fluid and can change for a person over the course of their life. Some people choose to express their gender identity through their gender expression.

Gender expression/presentation is how one chooses to show their gender to the world, such as clothing, behavior, and personal appearance.

Support in exploring your sexual orientation and gender identity: Figuring out your sexual orientation and gender identity can be exciting and fulfilling, and sometimes having support and community can help us become our most authentic selves!

How to talk to your provider about

Pronouns, gender identity, and sexuality

Informing your provider about your gender, your sexual orientation, and your pronouns is essential to getting the quality, affirming care you deserve. If a provider misgenders you or misrepresents your gender or sexual orientation, it's important to correct them.

How to start the conversation

Pronouns

• Hi, I’m [name]. My pronouns are [your pronouns].
• I shared this with the staff at the front desk, and I also want to make sure it’s in my chart. My pronouns are [your pronouns].
• I would appreciate it if you used my pronouns, which are [your pronouns].

Sexual orientation

There are many ways to mention your sexual orientation to your provider (and just so you know, it may also be on the medical intake forms).

• I am attracted to women.
• I am not interested in talking about birth control. I am not having sex with men.

Gender identity

Correcting a provider or staff member about pronouns or your identity.

• Actually, I don’t identify as ____,I am ____, and my pronouns are ____.

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